In the bleak midwinter
by todd fan
Summary: COMPLETE! The problems one had with and amphibian metabolism in winter.


In the bleak mid-winter.  
  
By Todd fan  
  
Disclaimer: "Thats 'help' backwards, so the helicopters can read it from the air".  
  
Yes is another one of my pointless one-chapter fics centered around the Brotherhood. What can i say?, i like 'em..plus it empties out space in my head for fresh stuff.  
  
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Winter had hit Bayville hard, the snow was 6 foot deep, the water supply had frozen up, and Lance's jeep had become motionless.  
  
"Stupid engine!", shouted Lance, looking angrily at his jeep, "why did you do this to me Betty?. I thought you loved me!. I give you gas, i fix your transmision. I clean you regularly. Why do you have to freeze on me?".  
  
He blinked, realising he was talking to his jeep..again. He really hoped no one was watching, no such luck.  
  
"You know, one of these days, it might answer back".  
  
Lance winced as he saw Wanda leaning on the door frame.  
  
"She is a she not an 'it'", correct Lance, "and when you have a car, you'll understand the bond one shares with his or her motor vehicle".  
  
"Okay...", said Wanda, shaking her head, "you need help".  
  
"Did you just come here to insult me?", asked Lance, closing his jeep's bonnet.  
  
"No", said Wanda, "i came to tell you that i think Toad's dead".  
  
"You killed him?!", asked Lance, "i mean, i can't say i'm shocked, but i gave you at least a few more months before you snapped".  
  
"I didn't kill him", said Wanda defensively, walking inside, "see for yourself".  
  
Lance rolled his eyes and walked in. Todd was flat out on the couch, not moving.  
  
"I just found him like this", said Wanda, giving Todd a poke.  
  
"He's not dead", said Lance with a sigh of relief, "he's just going through his 'winter phase'".  
  
"His..what?", asked Wanda, cocking her head to the side in puzzlement.  
  
"Oh yeah, you weren't here last winter". said Lance, "well..you know he has amphibian D.N.A right?".  
  
"Yeah, so?".  
  
"Well, in winter, his whole metabolism slows down, he goes into a, err.. semi-hibernation", explained Lance.  
  
"So he's..sleeping?", asked Wanda, raising an eyebrow.  
  
"Yep", said Lance, "and nothing will wake him up. The fun we had last year!. You can do anything you want with him and even if you wake him up, he won't have the energy to chase after you. Last year, Boom Boom set off a load of timebombs around him and he didn't wake up, and Blob put a nacho hat on him and used him as a table".  
  
"That's mature", muttered Wanda.  
  
"Did someone say nacho's?", asked Fred walking in, then seeing Todd, "oooh, is it that time of year again already?".  
  
"Yep", said Lance with a grin, "what should we do to him this year?".  
  
"I think Wanda should decide", said Fred with a grin, "as seen as he's chased her around for a few months".  
  
"Oh no, i'm not getting involved with this", said Wanda, backing off, "i don't mind attacking him when he's awake, but in a semi-concious state, it's a little..unfair".  
  
"Party pooper", muttered Lance, dropping a doily on Todd's head.  
  
A gust of wind signaled the arrival of Pietro. He skidded to a halt by Todd.  
  
"So you guys found him huh?", he said, "i found him first!".  
  
He reached into the backpack he had on and brought out a pair of plastic antlers, attatched to a head-band.  
  
"I found these at the mall, some dude was selling them", he said, removing the doily and putting the antlers on, "ya know, there's something missing".  
  
"Oooh i know!", said Fred, he walked over to their christmas tree and pulled of a few borbles, he then hung them to the antlers, "ta da!".  
  
"Good, good", said Pietro, rubbing his chin, "but we just need..something else....i got it!".  
  
He zoomed off and arrived a few seconds later with a clowns nose. He promptly stuck it on Todd's nose and girnned.  
  
"I christen thee, Toddles the Red Nosed Mutant!", he said triumpanthly, then started to sing, "Toddles the Red Nosed Mutant, had a very shiny nose, and if you ever saw it, you would even say it glows, like a lightbulb".  
  
Wanda rolled her eyes and sat down on a chair.  
  
"You three are idiots", she said, crossing her arms.  
  
"Ooooooooooooohhhhhh protecive now, are we?", asked Lance, then noticing everyone staring at him, "what?. I had to put up with stuff like that from you guys with Kitty, it's about time i got my own back".  
  
"What are you suggesting?", asked Wanda, standing up and starting to form a hex-bolt in her hands.  
  
"Nothing, i didn't suggest anything!", squeak Lance, backing away, "no suggestions here".  
  
"Good", said Wanda, disapating the bolt and sitting back down.  
  
Suddenly, Todd moaned and opened his eyes groggily.  
  
"Who's bein' loud, yo?", he asked, putting a hand to his head.  
  
Soemthing wasn't right... he opened his eyes instantly.  
  
"Ya at it again?!", he said, turning on the boys, he pulled off the antlers and the nose.  
  
"Good Toad..nice Toad..stay", said Pietro backing away, "it's just some harmless fun..right?".  
  
"Ho, ho, ho", said Todd sarcastically, standing up.  
  
"He's gonna kill us!, run away!", shouted Lance, making a dash for the stairs.  
  
"I second that motion, said Pietro zipping behind Lance.  
  
Todd narrowed his eyes at turned his head very slowly towards Freddy.  
  
"Uhhh...i'll just go...upstairs", said Freddy, giving Todd a nervous glance before running upstairs as if the hounds of Hell were after him.  
  
"Ya'd better run, or i'll...", started Todd, then sighed, "nah, it'll waste too much energy".  
  
He flopped back down on the couch in a sitting position, then looked at Wanda.  
  
"Do me a favor Cuddlebumps, if they come downstairs again, kill 'em fer me, would ya?".  
  
"Hey, you don't need to ask twice", said Wanda, "and how many times have i told you not to call me...".  
  
She trailed off noticing that Todd had gone back to sleep. She sighed and grabbed the throw rug from Lance's chair and put it over Todd.  
  
"Man, this house is gonna be waaaay to quiet", she said, with a sigh, then gave an evil grin, starting to head upstairs, "oh boooyyys".  
  
Todd opened one eye and watched her go, he smiled and went back to sleep as the sounds of banging, crashing and terrifed screams could be heard upstairs.  
  
  
  
There you go...more madness!. Did you like?. Okay, it's not my best, i wrote the thing in about half and hour. Please review. 


End file.
